2.01 - The Distance
Ryan: Hey, so, ah, I was thinking.
Seth: I was thinking too. You know they don't even have a water polo team here. That's just gonna be a problem for me.
Summer: Well my therapist said the best thing I can do to move on in my life is to divest myself of Seth's material possessions. Kirsten looks confused. I've got to dump off a bunch of his crap.
Sandy: I've always liked Luke. Kind of a big Golden Retriever.
Ryan laughs: Actually, he kinda is.
2.02 - The Way We Were
Sandy: Since when is scotch part of a nutritious brunch?
Caleb: Since the DA's office finally decided they had enough to indict me.
Marissa: Ryan, we're not friends. We were never just friends.
Ryan: I guess that was the problem then. See ya.
Seth: Cohen. What are you doing?
Summer: Nothing. Why?
Seth: Looks like you're humping the hot dog stand.
2.03 - The New Kids On The Block
Alex: That's sweet. It's pathetic but sweet.
Seth: Yeah, that's my niche. Pathetic and sweet.
Lindsay: Excuse me. I'm new. Is it alright to park here?
Bitchy Chick: Sure. If you're not too embarassed.
Lindsay: I'm just gonna wring out my shirt, and stuff toilet paper up my nose, and I'm sure I'll have no trouble fitting in now.
2.04 - The New Era
DJ: So, what, are we friends now?
Marissa: Judging by this conversation, probably not.
Seth: My friend Ryan, he's really cool, okay? He's very anti-establishment. He enjoys sunset walks on the beach, punching people, and not smiling.
Alex: And that's how you see me?
Seth: Yeah. Except more so.
Summer: Cohen...Ryan.
Seth: I have a date.
Summer: Wow! Have fun with Captain Oats.
2.05 - The SnO.C.
Sandy: What could he have possibly have done that would be so terrible that he'd rather go to jail?... Unless, life with Julie Cooper...
Seth: Hey, need a hand with something?
Marissa: Sure.
Seth: Ryan, be a gentleman. (heading off) I've got class.
Summer: You've gotta go, like, Ice-Man on her ass.
Seth: Wow, was that your first X-Men reference?
Summer: Top Gun.
Seth: Top Gun. Hey. That's like one of the greatest love stories of our time.
2.06 - The Chrismukkah That Almost Wasn't
Kirsten: I thouight you and Jimmy were getting along really well.
Julie: Oh really. What makes you say that?
Kirsten: Because last week you said you and Jimmy were getting along really well.
Sandy: Facing Kirsten and Julie has got to be better than going to jail.
Caleb: Kirsten maybe. Not Julie.
Seth: Father! Where are we going to find some Jews in Orange County?
Sandy: Leave me out of it.
Kirsten: Oy, humbug.
Seth: Oy, humbug.
2.07 - The Family Ties
Seth: Will you punch someone, please? For old time's sake?
Seth: It's a story as old as time, really. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy finds out girl is surrogate mother's illegitimate half-sister.
Sandy: I'm guessing it's too soon to joke Seth. Even for a Cohen.
Kirsten: Ah! If it isn't my son the wino.
Seth: You guys found out?
Kirsten: Well, you weren't exactly stealth.
2.08 - The Power Of Love
Seth: If you're alone, cough twice.
Ryan: I'm alone.
Seth: Okay, it's not as stealth but it works too.
Marissa: What happens withSeth and Alex has nothing to do with you and Zach.
Summer: I know. But I always thought that I would have sex first and that Cohen would catch syphilis from a public toilet.
Sandy: Nothing like Julie Cooper to put fear into the hearts of children.
2.09 - The Ex-Factor
Seth: I've got a lot of testosterone pumping. Testosterone being the key ingredient missing in Alex's previoius relationship.
Ryan: Look, I don't know, I... I... I guess I was hoping this could be easy. For you and me to stay friends. For you and Lindsay to be friends.
Marissa: And have us all live happily ever after?
Ryan: Yeah, something like that.
Marissa: I know, it seems like a million years ago we dated, but it wasn't.
Ryan: I know that.
Marissa: And okay, maybe you're over it. Maybe it doesn't mean anything to you anymore. Maybe it never did. But it meant a lot to me. You meant a lot to me. Still do.
Ryan: It's not like that, I don't know what it's like. And thinking you and Lindsay should be friends was a bad idea.
Marissa: Why? I like her. And if you do the math, she's my stepsister, so...
Ryan: I guess...
Marissa: Clearly, it's going to be strange for us for a while.
Ryan: Yeah, I know, you're right. I'm sorry. And that's what I came here to say.
Marissa: I'm sorry, too.
2.10 - The Accomplice
Alex: Sorry, I would have introduced you guys, but I didn't want you two to meet.
Gail: As you can see, it's a bit of a fixer-upper.
Kirsten: That's one way to put it.
Sandy: Who are you kidding, Gail? This place is a first-class dump. And I like it!
Ryan: How'd it go with Zach?
Seth: Well great until Summer came over and discovered my sketchbook.
Ryan: What'd she do?
Seth: Well I thought she was going to get a restraining order, but it turns out she's just gonna get her own action figure.
2.11 - The Second Chance
Ryan: Is this about Alex?
Seth: Ah, no no. She's merely kitchen table fodder at this point. She's no longer up to poolhouse standard.
Alex: Who knew you Harbor girls could throw down.
Marissa: Yeah, well, I'm not like the other girls.
Alex: Well, then I guess it's about time I show you the meth lab in the basement.
Marissa: I thought you'd never ask.
Ryan: Alright, look. Luke Skywalker was happy to find his dad, right? Even if he turned out to be Darth Vader.
Lindsay: Ryan, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader fought each other with lightsabers until one of them died.
Ryan: When you put it that way...
Lindsay: Look, just don't worry about my family. Or... our family. Whatever they are. Just let it be, okay?
2.12 - The Lonely Hearts Club
Sandy: There are days that I think me and Kirsten are bulletproof. I don't wanna test that theory.
Seth: Our noses grazed. And it was like the most sexually charged nose-graze in the history of nose grazes. It's essentially nose-humping, is what it is.
Caleb: I'm sorry, Ryan. I know it wasn't easy for you to string so many words together.
2.13 - The Test
Summer: I'm only saying this for the people that live with you: take a shower, Cohen. Zach and I didn't have sex.
Julie: You should get another glass of champagne. 'Cause this is one surprise you won't find posted on the internet.
Lindsay: I don't need to take a test. 'Cause I know that my real dad wouldn't treat me this way.
2.14 - The Rainy Day Women
Seth: Think we should stick together? Kinda two-by-two like Noah did? He's very wise, Ryan. He had a beard.
Julie: That's very punk of you. You know, I used to like the punk in my day.
Marissa: Mom!
Julie: Okay, Marissa. It still is my day. I was just being modest.
Seth: Spiderman is really the only protective headgear I own.
Summer: Well, it's too bad you weren't wearing protective headgear when you were dropped on your head as a child.
Seth: Oh, zing!
2.15 - The Mallpisode
Ryan: This thing with Lindsay is... different.
Seth: Different how?
Ryan: Different as in not fixed by pancakes. And don't ask me how I feel about waffles.
Seth: Got it.
Seth: This thing with Lindsay is just really kicking Ryan's ass.
Summer: Which is why it's a good thing we're like the Marines.
Seth: How are we like the Marines?
Summer: We leave no man behind. Look, Lindsay may have turned her back on Ryan, but we won't. No. You have got to cheer him up. Semper Fi.
Seth: Oh, Semper Fi. That's so cute.
Seth: And besides, now with Lindsay out of the picture, maybe Ryan and Marissa will get back together.
Summer: Are you crazy? They're like the worst couple ever. And besides Marissa's happy now.
Seth: Okay, and by happy you mean gay.
2.16 - The Blaze Of Glory
Sandy: Julie, you scared me. More than usual.
Julie: Always a pleasure, Sanford.
Sandy: Only Caleb gets to call me Sanford because he won't not.
Carter: This magazine is just a photo opportunity for 55 year old women with 25 year old breasts.
Kirsten: But this is chance to turn this community upside-down. Be subversive, irreverant.
Carter: I'd rather be drunk.
Ryan: I'm not going to the bonfire.
Julie: But you have go to the bonfire.
Ryan: What, are you and Seth working on the same team now?
2.17 - The Brothers Grim
Seth: You're still an Atwood. Only a slightly more edgy, darker version. I think. But some people think Ryan's gotten more softer.
Trey: Ryan said you talk a lot.
Caleb: Is there anything else?
Julie: Well I made an adult film in the 80s with an ex-boyfriend whos is now threatening to to release it on the internet unless I pay him half a million dollars. And I would really like to redo the kitchen.
Summer: And you told Cohen because you knew it would get back to me.
Zach: Within minutes.
2.18 - The Risky Business
Sandy: Joanne. Tell me you didn't order those napkin rings? This is not a mob wedding.
Ryan: Okay, you stay here.
Seth: What are you going to do?
Ryan: I don't know.
Seth: Okay, I got a plan. The kind of plan that made me All-Camp Capture-the-Flag Champ Tahoe. And it is extremely stealth.
Sandy: Hey, guys. I'm chairing The OC Pseudo-Charity Non-Yard sale.
Seth: Hey, Dad, that's fantastic.
Ryan: Good luck with that.
2.19 - The Rager
Seth: He doesn't exactly seem overburdened with possessions. Unless that bag of his is like Mary Poppins. (pause) I wish I'd never made that reference.
Carter: Kirsten, congratulations. As of this morning you are a bona fide magazine publisher.
Kirsten: I know. The first issue's on the stands.
Carter: I was referring to our first libel suit.
Zach: What are you doing telling her I'm gay?
Seth: Now I said "gay vibe." I distinctly remember saying "gay vibe." And the two are very different.
2.20 - The O.C. Confidential
Seth: Okay, so when the cops showed up and asked who's responsible for the girl floating in the pool, he was like, what: "I'm an ex-con on parole. I know, I'll say me."
Kirsten: How many wines have we tasted?
Carter: According to my notes (checks notes) I stopped taking notes.
Kirsten: Should we fire ourselves for drinking on the job?
Carter: Drinking was the job. And I did my job rather well because I'm hammered.
Carter: Could you possibly find a driver tonight? We failed to make use of the silver bucket.
Server: Are you staying locally?
Carter: Ah, no. Orange County, actually.
Server: Ew. I'm sorry.
2.21 - The Return Of The Nana
Seth: I don't believe it, Ryan. Brighteyes has two albums in the top ten.
Ryan: You okay with that?
Seth: Yeah I just feel like the rest of the world's finally caught up to me. It's a little bit scary.
Ryan: Yeah, it's a lot scary.
Seth: Tell me I'm still special.
Sandy: You know the Nana and her schedule. Friday night's Mah Jongg.
Seth: What? Since when's Friday night Mah Jongg? That totally throws off my schedule.
Seth: Who are those guys?
Ryan: Uh, they're in the same Bible study class.
Seth: Oh. Think we could convince them to turn the other cheek?
2.22 - The Showdown
Sandy: Do you think I look like Tony Blair?
Kirsten: Uh, you have nicer hair.
Sandy: Good hair, leader of Great Britain. I would call it a wash.
Caleb: You spent two hours making Eggs Benedict for a man with a heart condition. Doesn't that seem a little insane to you?
Reed: Summer, Seth and Zach have talent. They could have careers in comics. But you are the Nico of the group.
Summer: I'm sorry. I don't get references before 1990.
2.23 - The O.Sea
Caleb: I see you pulled out all the stops. One last ditch effort to stop this divorce from going forward.
Julie: God! Paranoid, much?
Seth: So we ended up— well, we flipped a coin.
George Lucas: You flipped a coin?
Seth: Yeah. And you know, it sounds crazy, but at the time...
Caleb: You know, I really did love you, Ju-Ju.
Julie: Ooh. Past tense. That stings.
Caleb: Sorry. Grammatical error.
2.24 - The Dearly Beloved
Hailey: So you moved to Hawaii. How is it?
Jimmy: It's fantastic. You would not believe the North Shore.
Hailey: So I've heard.
Julie: If it would help, I could take over Kirsten.
Sandy: I don't know if anything's gonna help.
Julie: So then let her glower at me. I'm used to it.
Sandy: Unfortunately, so am I these days. Thank you Julie.
Marissa: Hey, what's going on?
Seth: Well, we're on our way to Trey's, but you're closer. Maybe you can stop him.
Marissa: What are you talking about?
Seth: Ryan knows.